Relation Ships: What To Know Before You Set Sail With A New Partner & Or Before You Jump Ship
Relation Ships: Personal Development
They are not separate things. They are the same thing. Relationships are energetic connections through which we express & receive, exchange energy, so that we can see who we are. Once we have exchanged the energy, we are able to understand if the energy we received is what we desire or not, if the energy we gave is what we desired to or not, & if the exchange is serving our highest purpose right now or not.
It’s a game of discernment. Relationships are like ships. It’s a very good way of thinking about them. A ship is at the harbor and two (or more) people are energetically called to the ship. They show up and agree to board together and they set sail. The ship has a certain amount of energy on board for each journey (the combined energy of the people on board which depends on their ability to maintain and regenerate energy) and during that period, both people exchange energy or engage in the relationship.
Once the ship’s energy resources run low, the ship plans to dock and two things may happen. The people aboard leave the ship, replenish their energy in a way that only solitude can do, & then return to the ship to go on another journey with that person. Or, they leave the ship & decide that that energy exchange was not serving them & do not return.
Forever Ships: More Concept that Reality
Some people are looking for their forever ship. The ship they board and don’t get off until their dead bodies are carried off together at an old age. Can you imagine that? An old couple, dead, yet still holding hands. A sweet image to some. Terrifying to others. There are no forever ships. Every ship needs to dock so that the people on board can replenish themselves. And I want to clarify this. Being on the ship (in a relationship) is not inherently draining of one’s energy. Yet for many it is because they are giving from a deficit and do not know they can or know how to maintain and regenerate their own energy. That is often why people want to be in a relationship. They lack the knowledge or capability to be energetically whole and balanced and seek out relationships to make up for that energetic imbalance. They say they want a healthy relationship but you can’t get there from a place of also wanting the other person to be responsible for maintaining your energy deficit. That is codependency. That is being an energy drain.
Mutiny Aboard: It’s In Your Head
Most people don’t do this intentionally. There are no energy vampires waiting at the bars or the gym to intentionally drain your energy. Most of this is subconscious. The great thing about being on the “Relation” ship (see what I did there?) is that everything comes out. What you think you are hiding is reflected back to you in the other person. So when you get triggered, offended, or have your boundaries crossed, that is just showing you what is in your energy field. It could be anyone on the ship and if you have “men cheat at every opportunity” in your energetic field, then every man you sail with will end up being a cheater. This does not mean you take the emergency boat back to shore & instantly end the relationship. This is a alerting you that you need to seriously (and not so seriously) reevaluate your beliefs. Here are some questions to support that self-inquiry:
- What thoughts am I thinking right now?
- What memories are coming up for me right now?
- In my mind, how does the world work?
- Is what happened a reflection of how I think the world works?
- Does it feel good to live in a world that works this way?
- If I entertained the possibility that the world could work differently, how would I want it to work?
- How do I want to feel emotionally in my relationships?
- If I reimagined the event & felt the way I want to feel in a relationship, how would it have gone?
Use these prompts as a guide to help you organize your thoughts and emotions and gain clarity.
Relationships are a Part of Life
Relationships are a part of life. There is no avoiding them because we need interactions with other humans to further our own growth and to evolve. Understanding that the purpose of relationships is to help us evolve, takes the pressure off to find the “right one” right now. The person you attract is the right one for right now for who you are at this moment. Appreciate them all for what they give you and teach you. Let them go when they have run their course. And don’t hang around the dock trying to find a ship.
Live your life. Be in your joy and truth. And when it is time to board, you’ll suddenly be at the dock and your new person will be there too, so excited to see you.
Asha + Orion
